How to Handle the Co-Worker Who Loves to Gossip and Talk

Recently, I met up with a good friend (we'll call her "Karen"), who told me about her experience at a job she had just landed. I wouldn't say it's her dream job, but she's just glad she's employed at the moment. One of her biggest complaints (among some others that I'll cover in future articles) is her chatterbox co-worker.

This chatterbox co-worker loves to gossip and talk, and keeps distracting Karen from work. The co-worker goes on and on about the boss' new girlfriend, who not to date, and her suspicions of the director's recent plastic surgery. One of the biggest don'ts in the workplace is to refrain from gossip, especially for newcomers who hardly even know the people being discussed. Besides gossip, the co-worker also rambles hours and hours about her children. It's okay to have a short talk about them but hours and hours about them is hours and hours off work.

I'm not a confrontational person, and neither is Karen. The advice I gave Karen was to start by gently giving clues. As a new employee, Karen feels the pressure to get along with everybody at the office so she has been having a hard time balancing good work relationships with her actual work. The best way to deal in this situation is to take care of things in a subtle manner. You don't want to make a scene, hurt someone's feelings, or make it seem like you're actually the one gossiping or wasting time.

By gently giving clues, I mean using lines like:

• "I wish I could stay and listen, but I have a deadline to meet in two hours so I have to get back to my work"
• "That sounds really interesting, but I was just about to return a call to a client. It's urgent apparently"
• "Hey, I really wish I could, but I have to run an errand."

After a while, the co-worker will get the hint, or get bored with her unsuccessful attempts at gossiping with you. This way, you don't have to be confrontational, or hurt the relationship with your new co-worker, which could make things worse.

Good news. Karen tried it - and it actually worked after a two days.

• How to Impress Your Boss